Analysis Paralysis
2017
Interesting article. https://www.scientificamerican.com/…/sexual-assault-may-tri…
The article focuses on a specific type of assault but what they describe could happen in any assault. It also got me thinking about the ways which we respond to conflict and threats. I post the article because it is interesting in its own right it got me thinking down a different path. In particular how training for the “tonic immobility” this article mentions is a good idea for most of us.
My apologies for the tangent. A few months ago I started BJJ - for a number of reasons. I watched my boys do it; I have friends and coworkers who do it; I’ve listened to podcasts related to it. I have noticed, in general, that the folks who do it are not hyper-aggressive rage-oids but are often calm. Less likely to flip out over little things…
I was afraid to start BJJ - and still have a healthy respect for the gulf between my abilities and actual self defense. I can see incremental change, though. At first when you are choked or put in a very uncomfortable position - you panic. You do all the wrong things at the same time. You think you know what to do but really in the words of a great Stoic philosopher with facial tattoos:
“Everybody has a plan; then they get punched in the mouth.”
Interesting analogy between learning BJJ and learning to swim. In both cases all the things you try to do to stay above water, in fact, make you sink. With a good teacher and good training partners you start to see how to relax, move a little smoother. At the same time you get stronger and more flexible.
That fear does not go away exactly. Your body does not like to be choked or smashed. You can tell yourself ‘this is only a drill’ - but the scenario you are training for is grim. I forget to breathe; I stiffen up and often turn away instead of turning in. (turning away in BJJ means your back is exposed and the bad things are about to get worse for you…)
I don’t really think I am that much better in a real life survival situation. Big picture - punching, striking, kicking are not even part of BJJ. Ans for the things I am leaning, I am drilling these things at 25% strength and 50% speed. There are limits - no eye gouges or biting… Not so in life. Even in the context of the discipline, I am a white belt with a single stripe. I hear the voice of the warrior woman from the northern wilds saying “You know nothing, John Snow” on a daily basis…
At the beginning of each class the warmup includes shrimping, rolling, falling, switching bases and technical getups. Good ways to warm up and loosen the body. But also these are ways of getting up and getting away. Creating space and protecting yourself.
The simple thing I have gotten from my 4 months or so, is familiarity with having someone, with more skill and strength than I have, hold me down and put me in a bad position. Then tap and again. And again. And again. Sometimes it hurts. I often feel too old and too slow. There is also the germ of the idea that eventually I will figure out how to escape and how to reverse the situation. Its a rubiks cube type of puzzle at times. Rolling with a black belt you feel how they are spinning through moves without effort. Doing five things to your one attempt… It is awesome to behold.
But what do I get on a day to day basis? One small thing which means a lot to me is that commuting is less of a stress. I hate being in a crowd of pressing jostling people. It can get me in a semi-depressed frame of mind where I do not want to go out. I’ve always lived and worked in crowded places (NYC, Seoul, Hoboken …) and this summer in particular has been a crappy commute. I did not realize before how much of the stress was a simple physical reaction. We are not meant to live and work packed on top of each other. Yet we do.
The other day I had my hand pressed on the ceiling of the PATH subway and a woman had her faux Gucci bag jammed up into my back. Sucked but not the end of the world…
Little things. No great epiphanies from BJJ. But I am really grateful for the experience. A different awareness of your body in relation to other bodies and the world around. And a little bit of training so that if things go really bad along with the panic some awareness to keep from drowning…