Parents and Political Kids
January 2019
2019 jan 21
FOOL:
If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I'ld have thee beaten for
being old before thy time.
KING LEAR:
How's that?
FOOL:
Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst been wise.
KING LEAR:
O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven Keep me in temper: I would not be mad!
Last year my boys’ school (6th and 8th grade at the time) they announced that on a Wednesday morning the students would leave school and would march on the streets of Hoboken with signs denouncing gun violence. I was struck by the fact that the school was not so much asking for permission to take my kids out and march them around but was simply stating it as a fact. I had a visceral reaction to this. First thing was I made sure my kids knew this was voluntary. They in no way had to do it. I checked in with them. The older one was stoked that he got to draw an AK-47 on a sign with his buddy. The younger one wanted to just hang with his friends. So I let it go. Its hard to swallow as a parent, but, I think in interactions with school: Less is more. Also home is where you can have vigorous debate about all these issues. More often than not I play devil’s advocate instead of stating my actual opinion. On this issue I felt strongly enough - schools should NEVER do this. Even for a ‘good’ cause.
I revisited this with my boys after the Covington issue. I watched a few different videos and I felt that the MAGA hatted boys were relatively restrained for kids their age. (As for the ‘smirk’ - when my boys do not have something like a smirk on their faces I get out the Vicks and Castor Oil…) I don’t think Phillips was at fault either. He was a bit confrontational but both sides stayed under control. We see people expressing disagreement but at the same time staying under control. Neither side was blocking nor harassing the other. The boys break out in their school song in response. At some point a few of the boys make tomahawk like gestures and the other boys shut this behavior down. Phillips gets as close to the boys as he can without actually touching them. Restraint on both sides.
There is another group who - earlier in one video - informs Nathan Phillips and his group that they will go to hell for worshipping eagles. This third group starts calling the boys homophobic, racist and other slurs.
Going to stop for a second and reflect on the fact that these are boys getting confronted by grown men. They stay pretty calm for the situation.
Then social media revs up and families are attacked. Their own diocese disowns them and adults around the country trip over each other virtue-signaling while asking for swift and sometimes physical punishment on: the boys; their families; the school. Grown adults.
The more I watch these videos the more I wonder: “Where are the fucking adults?”
I think (and might be wrong) this is a diocesean school (like Seton Hall closer to me) so the kids were in Washington, DC at the behest of the diocese, the school, the parents, etc. These are kids who are 15 or 16 and wearing MAGA hats. None of this is a good idea. We should not use kids to make political points… There should be some friction.
When I was a kid I was a big Dylan fan. My dad got tired of hearing “Hurricane” on repeat and he got the transcript of Rubin Carter’s trial and challenged me to read it and see what I thought… Didn’t necessarily change my mind but was a good process to go through.
In college I got involved in sitins and protests. Not really important what the cause - would have probably done it anyway. At one point was enamored of the Sandinistas and wore a Che shirt (ignoring his racism and homophobia). At other times I know I wore a keffiyah in a similar pattern to Yassar Arafat… This is embarrassing to me today and I was 5 or so years older than these boys at the time. Its really hard for me to condemn the boys for wearing a MAGA hat. As they go out in the world and are challenged by other Catholic Christians as well as folks in other traditions many of them will choose otherwise.
Its hard now. For everyone. I struggle to remain a conscious liberal. The hate and disinformation can outstrip the Right. We are no better and are just as complicit in the Trumpocracy. We need to stop using our children as political capital.